I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
