I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
