i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
