so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
