Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
