help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
