how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
