i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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