There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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