i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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