my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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