That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
