Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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