Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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