her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
