You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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