tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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