i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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