just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
