there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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