Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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