She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Are we still banned from the library?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize