You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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