? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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