I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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