Don't make out with my wife yet
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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