just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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