they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
false alarm, still single
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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