member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
