Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
