For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
