1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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