She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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