no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
