I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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