so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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