Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
