You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
