dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
