Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
