Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
