I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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