He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
