I got her a Nickelback box set.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize