hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Alive.
So much puke
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
