worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
