The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
