That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
