Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
