i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
