Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
