How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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