is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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