i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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