If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
