I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
