Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
