I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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