for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
