When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
